The Eating Machine

I just worked really hard to lose over 50 pounds. Why is it then,that for the past two or three nights, every time I stir or are roused at night (which is pretty frequently when you have a cat who thinks you need a face washing in the wee hours of the night and you are also in sheet-twisting pain), I head into the kitchen, stick my head into the refrigerator and ROUT..snuffling through the food which after some days of this, is getting pretty sparce, select several items and head back to my pen for the feast?? It's a simple explanation...one word really:

STEROIDS. My arch enemy. My anathema. My worst fear.

And they came from a subtle source. NO, I was not taking a course of prednisone. (My pulmonologist recently prescribed a 12 day regimen of them and I decided that death from asthma was preferable that this....so I didn't take them. )

But then my shoulder was recently Xrayed because of increasing pain and the feeling that I was a breath away from a dislocation...and they discovered that this body-eating disease I have, has gnawed its way through my shoulder cartilage and the bones of my joint and that it, too, needs to be replaced. (no wonder I couldn't get a jacket on and off!). So my rheumatologist sent me to my ortho surgeon to get a shot into the shoulder joint which they hoped, would enable me to hold off on that surgery until after I'd recovered from the impending hip replacement surgery (coming up in two weeks now). Sigh.

Anyway...that unobtrusive injection held....you guessed it....cortisone. STEROIDS. And yes, I am eating my house once more. I've worked my way through the kitchen and am now about to start on the living room. My cheeks are puffed out, my stomach is protruding (both of these changes in the location of body fat, are a consequence of steroids....Lovely, right?) and I am HUNGRY. The ''if you don't hand me that candy bar-slice of pizza-fiber bar-banana-whatever-it -is-you-hold-in-your-grubby-little-hands RIGHT NOW, I will break your arm"kind of hungry.

The other day, my husband came home from doing the grocery shopping and I spied a package of SIX Snickers candy bars. My spirit soared. I had great plans for that candy! But I didn't have any right THEN. Then the very next day, said husband confessed to eating all SIX of those candy bars...and I did not get even ONE! Needless to say, my husband will be fending for himself for meals this week. (have to punish him SOMEhow! lol.)

Did I mention that I HATE steroids?

Did I mention that everytime I take them, I vow it will be the last time?

yeah, sure.