Schizophrenia Bites- a reblog from last Dec.

12-13-10 3:20 a.m.

no ideas what to write about...and the way my mind has been working lately you should put on a seat belt to read this because you're in for a heck of a ride. I"m beginning without a topic...which is always interesting because it's like taking a journey without a destination in mind. And when that is the case the JOURNEY itself is what is important and what is the point.

I'm on a bit of a journey and while there 's one likely destination....not one I'm hoping for.....the journey has been interesting...but I don't want to look back at it other than to say that along this way I've met a new friend who has been my balance when I've lost my own. she is the voice of reason that has kept me from Golden Gating or going postal. Schizophrenia bites. (That would be a GREAT blog name!) it' s taken huge bites from me and from my life....masticated and extruded them in quite a mess.

my mind has been pogo sticking around all night, pausing for an occasional hallucination (don't want to get run over by one of THOSE, always best to stop....and do a seat belt check) and tippy toeing around those pits of despair that seem to spring up like the natural hot geysers at Old Faithful National Park, spraying their stinking muck all over anything ....so like your mom said, wear your seatbelt and your raincoat....! Good advice for any schizophrenic or friend of one.

so that out of the way....what dowe talk about next? I could really go for a cup of coffee. It is a bad addiction from years past ...I'd quit the stuff completely in the past five years of healthy eating....but an occasional treat has turned into more of a regular thing of late. Now CIGARETTES ...that's another topic I could go on about. and they are not unrelated....especially to the person with SZ. There is supposedly great almost unbreakable power in the physical addictive potential for those two substances in the person wiht SZ (and I've beaten them both....just a self -pat on my back.... :P ) However, as hard for us to overcome as they may be...we have great strength of will , concentration and self will (any one who has to learn to function DESPITE continuous the continuous distractions and interruptions of hallucinations etc HAS to have focus!!....just to make it to the bathroom. And if you've ever been in a bathroom in a psych hospital, you'll know that not everyone meets that aim. :dd)
Any way enough potty talk....light me up a "fag" (as my British friend puts it)....sometimes I really miss them , even though I hated them passionately. I find that absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder....Absence of consideration is the only think that keeps me from buying a pack sometimes ....I cannot let my mind even GO THERE.)

The stress of the past several days of psychosis has brought a lovely psoriatic sheen to my face as my psoriasis is in bloom in (naturally) the most conspicuous area I own. It has also brought demolition to my bedroom. It'snot that I don't clean it...I do...daily. But the HAVOC I can wreak in mere moments is astounding. I'm trying to contain my powers of mass destruction within this room alone. The rest of the house doesnt'miss me. In fact, it's been sending me thank you notes for my absence. Except for the kitchen sink....; it is begging me for some of my attention ....but hey it can wait its turn....my attention is too scanty to be handing out right and left.

so that's the journey...a five minute voyage that took me WELL over three hours to write because of the diversionary tactics of a hallucinating mind. ah well. It's been an interesting trip (just HOW interesting you'll never know, because I'm not gonna tell you. )
oh and yeah. the cig and coffee pic is done by "dancinpantless" (her name choice, not mine)