The Whisper of Wings

Having survived a cancer scare and heavy hemorrhaging for a number of weeks and a mass of tests for that issue; I then had to approach the scheduled surgery on my hip to revise a replacement done last May. And in the pretesting for the surgery, it was discovered that my sodium levels in my blood were critically low...to the point that they could be life threatening. So, as per my usual pattern, I hopped from crisis to crisis, thus far besting them all and thumbing my nose at Death who has skulked a step behind me for the past ten years...and who has in every case (apparently) been defeated...Because you see: NO matter what Satan's plans are for my demise; they will each and every one of them fail, until I get to that moment, where battle weary and hopefully with a spirit ready for Heaven, I lay aside this body which has been put through the mill and don a body made for heaven and await the resurrection and perfection of this one. And I will get to watch with great joy as the enemy who has given me his best shots...gets the best shot of my Savior...and from that boot in the rear, he will never again arise to threaten me or anyone else with his Grim Reaper visage that he flaunts so successfully to bring people to a place of fear or dread as they contemplate the very true fact , that we EACH have an appointment with death.

For me, that moment holds not an ounce of fear or dread. Even these past weeks, as I really thought that Cancer had gotten hold of me, I felt not a drop of fear...I only had excitement at the thought of my earthly pain ending and of seeing the much-anticipated face of Y'shua as he welcomes me to the only Home I've been designed to enjoy. I am not in love with death. I am in love with LIFE but you see, the problem with most people is that they do not comprehend the fact that this "life" holds little more than but a few drops of the REAL life that God has planned for us to enjoy in his kingdom. We hold enough life in us here so that we can recognize the real thing when we see it...enough living water to tease our parched tongues into unbearable longing...enough LIFE in us so that at the hearing of unbearably wonderful music; or incredibly inspired art or literature...or see a ball perfectly hit right over the wall.....we KNOW that there is an other worldy power at work....and we were privileged to get a glimpse of it. And our heart instinctively longs for the moment that we too, will not only view such life, such art, but will create it, participate in it. WE will watch our doodles explode into panels of wonder...listen to our tone deaf wispy voices swell with power and soar to unbeliveable heights on a scale we have not even "invented" here in this copycat planet.

And this IS a copy cat planet. A flawed broken version of what God had intended for us to enjoy...And when man smashed and besmirched the original design with his prideful disregard for the terms of the "lease"....God, moved by his endless mercy and grace, put into effect the next part of his plan (having known all along the disastrous choices that mankind would make) the Godhead, had consulted, decreed and assented to the part of grace that aches with the pain of Death, assumed by the very Trinity itself...as He snatched back from the hands of death, the Life that the enemy had attempted to consume and destroy.
And then went back to the temporary location of the kingdom to resume work on the next best part of the gift to man who had so callously spit into His face. The best part of the gift was already given and that is what He, himself, gave us: the Life; His life; His very essence, which we spilled out all over Calvary's rocky ground...but that life, once it was freed from that very blood; that very broken body...now entered those who were claimed by Him as HIS. And now that life that spirit within us, echoes and resounds with the beating heart of God as we see tiny glimmers on this planet--this broken planet--of the Life just beyond our current reach. And we await the clock's ticking announcement that there is a moment approaching...when this aching, groaning, gasping mass of tangled cells will lay its labor down; its work complete.

And we will then be escorted into HIs presence and receive that LIFE in full.... and watch as the final chapter of Earth unfold...and participate in the joy of the assumption and habitation of the NEW Earth as it descends...it's millenia of preparation completed and ready for occupation by the now FULLY alive children of God....

So tell me, why should there be fear in the face of such wonders as these? Fear when I am ushered into the blinding presence of the shekeinah of God...yes..tremulous wonder...that I broken, flawed, rebellious and SO very unworthy me....should be permitted to see him at all, let alone to live there with him, enjoying that radiance daily. Eternally.

So here, in this hospital bed that has doubtless hosted the last earthy breaths of many many others, I have no fear...merely awed wonder at the beauty of the Plan...and of His Love which put the whole thing into motion. And Yes, I've been dogged by the enemy of my soul, my life threatened time and time again...And I am honored to be counted as enough beloved of Adonai that the enemy considers ME to be his enemy. There is no one I would rather be a threat to than he. And each brush with angels wings as they gather to gather me up to God's presence, makes me pause. RE-evaluate. And wonder. How can I make him (small 'h') hate me even MORE??? And I've found time and again, that I'm alive and given more time to do just that.