I'm 48--chronologically. However emotionally, I think I am 19 or 20: the age I was when I became sick with schizophrenia. I truly think that I will always view myself as being that age; that I will always be more comfortable with people in their early twenties than I am with the middle-aged folk with whom I should be associating. And this could just be the reason I think nothing of wearing a sweater-dress with leggings and boots...or a young-styled shirt which leaves nothing to the imagination...Never once considering that my body would more appropriately be hidden.
That's my emotional age...MY physical age however is something more like 90. This is evidenced by hands that are contorted by arthritis and will no longer leave their gnarled, clenched, claw-like position with fingers straightened. It is evidenced by the fact that in the past ten years, I've probably spent more time IN the hospital than OUT. It is evidenced by the fact that I spend no time outside of my bedroom except to go to church or to a doctor's office.
These thoughts beg the question: how old am I spiritually? A healthy, mature age? Or five? or am I decrepit there also??
I have to say that spiritually, you are strong. You have taught me so much.
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