No Apologies

It is nice to be known isn't it??
By a friend, By the Lord.
And to be free to be whomever it is that you are...without apology or excuses...knowing that you will still be loved.
That is something I'm still trying to learn...that I don't have to make excuses or apologize to those who love me.
I'm so used to constantly apologizing to certain people in my life....for my very existence...and to never having those apologies accepted.

I now have two relatively new friends who love me without qualification. And they are amused by the fact that I constantly feel like I have to offer apologies when I think I may have crossed some invisible line of expectation or propriety....They tell me over and over, "You don't have to apologize to me...I love you."
And while that is wonderful to hear...it is also difficult.
Because honestly, I can't think of many (any??) other people in my life of whom that has also been true. There are and have been several in my life...less than the fingers on one amputee's hand (lol)....

There is a freedom in love. A freedom to BE--just who I am without excuses. Without fear. Without condemnation. (now I've done it; I'm crying....)
It is the way Jesus loves me.
And I think I am always apologizing to him too ...for my existence ...for my failures...

And He just shakes his head and tells me - through the mouths of these friends - You never have to apologize for being who you are. I made you. I love you.